This is my brain on Gap commercials from 1999

  • Can't believe enough time has elapsed where you can suitably refer to these ads as "vintage"
  • Still remember when these aired way back when on something called a TV
  • Back when I didn't know my bowl cut was a bowl cut
  • When I scratched my Purple Rain CD from listening to it too much
  • When I could skip Spanish class by fitting all 4'11" of myself in a school locker
  • So glad that growth spurt happened
  • I liked these ads
  • I still like these ads
  • Please don't tell me I majored in Advertising at college because of these ads
  • That would be awful
  • Truly awful
  • Like those vests
  • Experiencing a vague "meta" affect halfway through this leather/Depeche Mode one
  • Something to do with indexing these ads as "retro" today when their original intention was to already be "retro" back then...?
  • When two "retro"s collide do they cancel each other out to make a "classic"?
  • Am I really trying to process the physics of a Gap commercial?
  • Am I really fucking saying that?
  • Jesus, hold on, while I refill my coffee
  • [walk away, refill coffee, return, sip]
  • That's better, now I can concentr--
  • Holy shit, is that Alex Greenwald from Phantom Planet?
  • One of the Bash Brothers from D2: The Mighty Ducks?
  • Who-knew-young-Rashida-Jones?
  • I'M? NOT! OLD?!
After all these years, one thing does comfort me about the Gap: Their clothes still suck, and I still buy it.

/ brainwashing

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