What Halloween sounds like to a 9 year old

My Halloween mix this year, inspired by those late-afternoon-bleeding-into-night dayz my brother and I would spend sulking in a corner waiting for our single mom (holla) to finish up her shift.

Starved for some one-on-one time with AOL, the latest Digimon cartoon and a third Lunchables, we'd get pretty antsy, frustrated and straight-up-now-tell-me WEIRDED OUT by all the homegurls in there $pending their estrogen and energies on what we considered to be a place that in our eyes looked like Halloween all day errrrrday. Didn't they know there was a GameStop next to the food court? Or that place where you could embroider your name on any baseball cap you wanted? No, girls knew about something far more abstract and mysterious (~~sexuality~~~) and they were painting it on their nails and lips AND FACES like masks! AAAAH!!

Look, I don't know what MAC is like or represents today, but in the '90s, it seemed to mean a combination of Tower Records' "alternative" section, wearing all black, being CrazySexyConfident, believing someone like Ru Paul deserves equal rights and girls at school thinking it was insanely cool your mom worked there. Put all that together, add it to one of their spiral-y window displays, and it made MAC a truly terrifying place for two boys who couldn't point out a pituitary gland on a diagram if the lives of their own kids they were raising at the time (Sea-Monkeys) depended on it.

Obviously this clash is pretty funny and unusual, but in retrospect, possibly a reward in smokey eye disguise: I don't think my brother and I were ever "afraid" of girls at the age we were "supposed" to be. It was like we Aeon Flux-style infiltrated a recess where we were surrounded by them 24/7, so by the time our Dragon Ball Zs dropped we weren't 100% fazed. That we eventually started calling makeup "cosmetics" and knew the difference between Bobby Brown and Bobbi Brown, however, was pretty scary, though.

Happy Halloween!

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