What Halloween sounds like to a 9 year old

My Halloween mix this year, inspired by those late-afternoon-bleeding-into-night dayz my brother and I would spend sulking in a corner waiting for our single mom (holla) to finish up her shift.

Starved for some one-on-one time with AOL, the latest Digimon cartoon and a third Lunchables, we'd get pretty antsy, frustrated and straight-up-now-tell-me WEIRDED OUT by all the homegurls in there $pending their estrogen and energies on what we considered to be a place that in our eyes looked like Halloween all day errrrrday. Didn't they know there was a GameStop next to the food court? Or that place where you could embroider your name on any baseball cap you wanted? No, girls knew about something far more abstract and mysterious (~~sexuality~~~) and they were painting it on their nails and lips AND FACES like masks! AAAAH!!

Look, I don't know what MAC is like or represents today, but in the '90s, it seemed to mean a combination of Tower Records' "alternative" section, wearing all black, being CrazySexyConfident, believing someone like Ru Paul deserves equal rights and girls at school thinking it was insanely cool your mom worked there. Put all that together, add it to one of their spiral-y window displays, and it made MAC a truly terrifying place for two boys who couldn't point out a pituitary gland on a diagram if the lives of their own kids they were raising at the time (Sea-Monkeys) depended on it.

Obviously this clash is pretty funny and unusual, but in retrospect, possibly a reward in smokey eye disguise: I don't think my brother and I were ever "afraid" of girls at the age we were "supposed" to be. It was like we Aeon Flux-style infiltrated a recess where we were surrounded by them 24/7, so by the time our Dragon Ball Zs dropped we weren't 100% fazed. That we eventually started calling makeup "cosmetics" and knew the difference between Bobby Brown and Bobbi Brown, however, was pretty scary, though.

Happy Halloween!


3 books I want to read right now

If I had the ability to read all 3 simultaneously, my public library knows I would, except I can't even walk and slip on a jacket effortlessly at the same time, so let's not count on it.

The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

Because it takes place in the late '70s/early '80s, at a small liberal arts college so it'll probably have funny parts, pays special interest to female characters (who Eugenides has a keen talent for, I think), which means I probably have a friend who'll be similar to the main character, so I can throw it at her when I finish reading it and say, "DIS CHICK IS SO U!"

Footnotes: I don't know how to explain how good Middlesex is besides saying it's a book that was just...everything. Virgin Suicides was also good, and the movie is basically a study in how every book should be adapted into a movie. (HBO, I could see a Middlesex adaptation working. But only if it were a mini-series on your station shot by Sofia Coppola starring whoever our generation's Hilary Swank is.) I feel like I read that this New Yorker piece is an excerpt from his upcoming book (main character shares the same name), but I could be wrong (in that it's not a "final excerpt" but a "in-progress draft" possibly).

Released: 27 days from right now

Blue Nights by Joan Didion

Because it's about death and aging, and I also have a fear of death and aging, but Didion has a way of making you feel less afraid, though not necessarily hopeful, since that's equally fleeting, but not reliable, which her writing strives to be, just rational and at ease, like clear, so she's basically cheaper than therapy

Footnotes: b/w photographs of Joan Didion, on blogging she says, "It makes me uncomfortable. It's an entirely different impulse, I guess. It's like talking," which might be my favorite quote of 2010, so that said #FF this fake @JoanDidion Twitter account

Released: 48 days from right now

The Visible Man by Chuck Klosterman

Because though his debut novel Downtown Owl was slightly underwhelming, we're forgiving because it was his first and he's Chuck Klosterman and now that Friday Nights Light is off the air, they could make that into a TV show and it would be just as primetime good, but this book sounds more ambitious and Charlie Kaufman/Vonnegut-like, it's probably already being optioned by Charlie Sheen

Footnotes: mixtape

Released: 41 days from right now


Pretty cool garage rock documentary

New Garage Explosion!!: In Love With Times is a documentary on todaze garage rock/pop scene in the US of A, that to my knowledge isn't "released" yet. Nobunny, Ty Segall, Hunx and His Punx, Girls, Jay Reatard (RIP), Black Lips + many more from your "hair dyeing/shaving" playlist get some ample talking head/stage time in this fairly low key movie that I'd like point out is embedded above at 1 hr 14 min & 53 sec because it's not a trailer – it's the whole damn thing! So to all my readers (??) who are just starting the grind of a new school year this week, skip class and watch this instead. 'Cause that's tuh-otally punk roc2k11.


Some stuff I'm going to do next month

I'm going to turn 24. SICK.

I'm taking the Internet off my phone. HEALTHY.

I'm seeing these movies somehow. CULTURED.

I'm visiting amigos in San Francisco (maybe). Depends on my RICHE$.

I'm becoming interested in rt-ing celebrities because they're so #HOLLYWEIRD.

I will (probably) watch this season of Real World. I DON'T KNOW.

I'm going to reread these entries and then promise to actually do something with my life. But not until the month after. LATER.


Some stuff I didn't do last month

Last month, I didn't go to the Incubus concert eVeN thOuGH theY weRe 1 of mY fAvZ in middle school. I didn't have homework and I wasn't grounded, so maybe I'm just 23?

I didn't go to the Jeff Tweedy concert either, which means I also didn't get to see him kiss the cover of our little alt-paper on stage. Heard from another writer it was hot, though. I also won't be appearing on this blog anytime ever.

I did do Disneyland, but did NOT dominate in this game and have nightmares about it occasionally. Weak.

I didn't drink hardly because this happens. Weaker.

I didn't listen to anything but Amy Winehouse the weekend she died, because face it, Back to Black was one cherry record. RIP.

I didn't watch Shark Week on Discovery because we know it's all about Mob Week on AMC. NO DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT THIS CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TYPING WITH HAMMERS IN MY HANDS RIGHT NOWWOWOUCH!?!!? ...sorry, been watching a lot of Mob Week :)))

I didn't shave my head to this gem, but I did hear it playing in my head while I got a regular haircut anyway. Told my barber I wanted to get the "Brad Pitt Tree of Life" which I think he just understood as "Chia Pet."
I didn't have my laptop stolen, but I did have it almost stolen! I don't have internet at home, which means I have to write out of different wifi-coffeehouses on the regular, which means I've become awfully trusting/jaded/common senseless. I was at a Barnes & Noble Starbucks (yes, Starbucks, I'm a #firstworldrebel like that), saved a table by leaving my stuff/my life on it, ordered a drink and when I returned, my laptop bag (which had my computer, cell phone, wallet, soul) was gone.

I did see this homeless-looking guy with a giant roller board of bags nearest my table, so I asked him if he saw anyone take my stuff. He said he didn't, and the P.C.-outside-part-of-me-that-was-raised-by-a-liberal-grandma-who's-probably-chaining-herself-to-a-nuclear-power-plant-as-I-type-this believed him, not to mention I was in too much of a Point Panic to be suspicious.

I didn't know what to do, so I went straight to the store's Lost & Found where I learned my stuff was still lost and not found. Fuck. Outside the store window, I saw the homeless-looking guy walking away, like, back into greater society and wherever. I mean, I didn't want to jump to the conclusion that it had to be The Guy Who Doesn't Shower Ever, but my gut instinct moved me to run outside, catch up to him and ask: "Hey, are you sure you didn't take my bag?" "What bag? No, I didn't take any bag," he said.

I didn't believe him still, so I lied: "Because the Barnes & Noble security camera showed you taking it and the security is going to come out here in any second, so you should just give it back to me now...," while I'm saying this I look harder at his roller board and see my shit stuffed in between all his stuff which gave me the confidence to continue that, "...seriously, it's on camera and HELICOPTERS ARE COMING DOWN TO GET YOU SO HURRY AND GIVE IT BACK NOW!" He's like !!!!! and starts dismantling all his "stuff" (probably all stolen) and gives me back my bag. I was both pissed and relieved which is a conflicting feeling I don't think you feel often unless you have kids and lose them in a supermarket or something.

I did tell him: "You shouldn't just take people's things like that! You! Just! Don't!" to which he says, "You shouldn't leave your stuff around," and with my finger in his face, he just keels back and lets out this loud booming laugh that radiates through the entire mall and I'm just like, wait, what's going on, you're making my head hurt, stop?

I did write about all the stuff I didn't do last month because I did get my computer back, which I guess is the point of this post.


4 local bands I'm currently stoked about

I live in Honolulu. If we share similar interests, then going out at night here usually consists of seeing bands play in Chinatown followed by all-you-can-eat pancakes at Wailana Coffee House. ("Punk & Pancakes." Go ahead. Make the zine. I'll probably like it.) It's a really small scene which means that for the most part everyone knows each other, everyone supports each other, and when an ukulele appears in a song it's never a cutesy afterthought that fazes anyone because, um, people grew up hearing that instrument here. Anyway, of all the acts I've seen recently, these are the ones that stick.


These guys are pretty new. The first (and only) time I saw them was at Mercury about a month ago. I think it was the first time for a lot of us there because I heard a lot of These-guys-are-really-good-s dawning on the crowd during my trek to the bathroom. Words that come to mind regarding their sound: Stripped? Woodsy? Tribal? I don't know, I was peeing at this point and what you're reading isn't exactly Pitchfork, but I'll say I'm excited to see them again soon.


I first saw Narwhal a little over a year ago at Asterisk. They were playing these hyperkinetic songs that lasted about 45 seconds which can sound like perfection when done in the right way, you know? It was only their second show and they were calling themselves Monocle then, which they changed to Narwhal soon after. They also added another member, but never lost that just-scrawled-these-lyrics-on-a-notebook sound/detached seriousness about them. Like that kid in high school who you considered a rebel, but also did really good in school? They remind me of that kid. Everyone likes that kid.


The first time I saw Stephen was about a year and half ago at Here Today. He was playing these 7 minute songs and it felt like I was walking on the moon because you're standing there, obliterated by all this reverb and his voice intermittently poking through like a satellite trying to pull you in or something. Since then, he's formed a band and they're all really sincere dudes which makes it that much easier to root for them. Yay, Stephen!


This group has been around for a while I think, but I hadn't seen them until ~6 months ago at Nextdoor. They do Once-a-Month-Punk at Sandbox pretty often, but the last time I was within a 25 ft radius of that place, two guys got in a fight and one died. When my bulletproof vest comes in the mail, I'll catch these guys again?